Whatever you think of AA Gill – pompous, intolerant, perfectionist, – you have to admit he is a great writer. His usual writings appeared throughout yesterday’s Sunday Times including a plug for his new book that “pulls together the highlight and lowlights of his time at the table”.
You can read the article on the Times website but what isn’t included is a series of quotes scattered throughout the piece. These we find are hilarious and much more interesting than the article itself!
“For the main course, I had a daube of beef cheek ‘cooked like a grandmother’. God, if anyone had cooked my grandmother like this I’d have visited more often”
“Eel-flavoured foie gras in a slimy green coat is the sort of thing you need to be very, very drunk to come up with, and on drugs to eat twice”
“I’m naturally wary of cannelloni. This one arrived inescapably imitating a nuked sanitary towel”
“The ‘cheeseburger’ would have counted as an unfair artificial stimulant in a face-pulling competition. One mouthful had me gurning like a toothless pensioner getting his prostrate poked”
“Roast monkfish, tart of ceps and Alsace bacon was chewy – just chewy – and certainly no reason to leave your own bed, where you can chew your own fingernails with more enjoyment”